American writer, humorist and essayist
It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired.
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
All generalizations are false, including this one.