American writer, humorist and essayist
When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.
I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
It put our energies to sleep and made visionaries of us - dreamers and indolent... It is good to begin life poor; it is good to begin life rich - these are wholesome; but to begin it prospectively rich! The man who has not experienced it cannot imagine the curse of it.
The educated Southerner has no use for an 'r', except at the beginning of a word.
It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.